#125: How to Hide from Your Parents That You Smoke

1) Don't feel bad about yourself. Your parents will still love you even if you smoke, but they won't like it.



2) Keep your cigarettes and lighters hidden. Clean up after smoking a cigarette. Try not to use matches; instead try to get your hands on a lighter. Matches have a distinct scent to them.



3) Try not to smoke inside or immediately outside the house



4) Don't throw away those empty toilet paper rolls! Stuff them with crumpled dryer sheets on one end, and blow the the smoke through there. The sheets will act as a filter for the smoke. Or you can also take a rubber band and put the sheet over one end then put the rubber band over it, and it will have the same effect.



5) SOME OTHER STEPS

Take a walk around the block or smoke at the corner where your parents won't see.

Smoke only when you are out with your friends, or when your parents are 'out of the house.'

Some neighborhoods have houses for sale or lease, don't be stupid and smoke in there, it is illegal and you can go to jail if you get caught.

If you're smoking in a car, crack your windows a few inches and make sure the cigarette is out the window, but behind the mirror. Crank up the heat or AC, depending on the weather, and aim the vents toward the nearest window to keep the smoke outside. Wear a sweatshirt, hood up, while smoking. Be sure to exhale the smoke with a strong whoosh out the open window. After you're done, roll the windows down more, leave the air on, and air out the sweatshirt after removing it, then turn it inside out. Drink Gatorade or Powerade during and after, as it soothes your throat and helps with your breath. Afterward, chew gum and use a small amount of perfume, cologne, or air freshener on your hands. Always wash with hot water and soap as soon as possible. Cruise around for awhile to air out the vehicle, yourself, and other passengers. Don't leave your windows cracked when parked at your house since it's a dead giveaway, unless it is the summer time


6) Eliminate the cigarette odor from yourself before entering the house. Cigarette smoke takes 45 minutes to get off your clothes if you smoke one, every time you smoke another, add 15 minutes.

• Keep a can of cologne or some odor eliminator in your car for convenience.
• Similarly, take a breath mint or chew some gum to get rid of your smoke breath, chocolate also works wonders for smokey breath. If you spray too much though, your parents might get suspicious, if you need to drink to get rid of the smell, don't drink soda or water, drink a dairy product like milk.
• Oranges and orange oil also masks the scent of cigarettes very well. If you can do so convincingly, carry an orange with you as a snack. After smoking, peel and eat the orange, simultaneously covering your fingers and your breath with the scent of oranges. Or wear some rubber gloves, and dispose once you have used them.
• Clean the smell off of your fingers, because parents who have smoked tend to ask to smell your fingers before anything else. Getting rid of the smell can be done with scented soap or rubbing your hands in a clump of grass before entering your home. If they ask why your hands have grass stains, tell them you tripped and fell. De greaser for your hands also works wonders at removing the cigarette smell from your fingers.
• If you don't want your fingers to smell like smoke you should not hold on to the filter when you inhale.
• If your parents say you smell of smoke, tell them either that you were in a smoky place (for example, a bar), at a friend's house whose parents smoke in the house, or that some of your friends smoke. However, your parents might not be happy about those things either, so be careful.
• Smoke clings to hair a lot. Before you need to be in your parents company, try to find a sink, and splash water through your hair. If at all possible, take a shower.