#102: WEED SMOKING RULES

LEARN WHEN AND HOW TO SMOKE WEED

JUST SAY “NO!”

Don’t be afraid to turn down a hit. If your friends pressure you to smoke, they haven’t read this book and are therefore less informed than you are. If you do not wish to get high, do not smoke weed… period.

HEAD SHOP ETIQUETTE

Before entering a “head shop” (smoke shop) for the first time, there are some things you should know.

Not a “bong!” Don’t say the word “bong” in a  US head shop (even in states where medical marijuana is legal.)  Shop owners must insist their products are for tobacco use only to remain completely legal.

No weed. Don’t talk about weed in a head shop, and definitely don’t bring weed into a head shop. Most places will kick you out instantly.

Residue. Don’t bring dirty used glass into a smoke shop. Clean all glass before bringing it into a head shop for repairs.

Window shopping. Don’t ask to handle pipes if you are not serious about purchasing one. Glass is fragile and shop owners don’t like it when their products break.

Not a dealer. Don’t look for weed connections at the head shop.  It’s not the right place as you are putting the shop owner at risk.

Haggling. While haggling is a part of the head shop culture, low-balling and/or hardball negotiation will likely get you a worse deal.

Picture ID. Always bring an ID no matter how old you are.  Many shops have a strict ID policy for all purchases.

DON’T OVERDUE IT

Don’t smoke more weed than necessary. Depending on the quality of the weed, you can only achieve a certain level of high no matter how much you smoke. Sometimes, smoking more only makes you “burnout” (come down) more severely in the end. Also, you can always smoke more, but you can’t smoke less, so take it easy. Don’t make the mistake of getting too stoned, and then wishing you could be sober again. Only the passage of time can bring you down from your high.

TOP SHELF

Top shelf is the name for the type of inhalation that only travels half way down your lungs.  The smoke seems to get caught in your chest and usually makes for an unpleasant hit followed by much coughing and embarrassment.  To avoid top shelving, take a slower hit and don’t try to talk or laugh while breathing in.

COTTONMOUTH

Anyone who has ever smoked bud knows that “cottonmouth” (dry mouth) sucks. So it’s only fair that you share a sip of your drink when your buddy is suffering. Gulping and chugging, however, are not covered under this rule. Inversely, if you take a swig of someone else’s drink, don’t consume too much.

ACTING “HIGH”

Never attract attention to yourself by pretending to be more stoned than you truly are. First of all, you won’t fool anybody. Secondly, they won’t invite you over again. And finally, people will talk about you behind your back. Enjoy your high, but don’t flaunt it.

MOOCHING

Are you continually smoking other people’s weed? If your answer is yes, you might be a “moocher.” A moocher is someone who never supplies the pot, but is always there to smoke yours after a score. Once you have been labeled a moocher, it’s hard to break free of the stereotype. But, by supplying the weed on occasion, you can avoid this issue completely.

On the other side of the coin, you must not let others mooch off you. When other people are cutting into your stash all the time, it becomes a burden to smoke at all. Every time you want to get high, there are people expecting you to supply them as well. Be generous with your weed, but remember: it’s your weed, and you have the right to end their session at any time.

DON’T GET LAZY

Sometimes, smoking pot can motivate you to be creative. However, there may come a point where getting high only makes you tired and lazy. If you notice this happening to you, take a break from smoking. (Sobriety is a trip when you have been getting high everyday.) Then, if being sober loses its edge, you can always smoke another fat joint.